Dear Diary 14/06/2020

The moment i gather all my courage to be optimistic no matter what...something shattering happens. In short shit happens. 

I woke up today with a mindset that i'll be completing all my left over work..would do the cleaning..would be full of energy ............

.aaahh......... i'm so devastated.. what the hell is wrong with this 20 - 20??????

till the dusk..all my energy is drained.. today Sushant Singh committed suicide.. 

honestly last night i was yelling at my old friend on call that he is so unaware about my life and he only knows how to pass judgments..he hardly knows about the times i have been to hospital due to poison intake,..and that ever since i have had suicidal thoughts..and at any point i might do that again... .............

but  no.......    no............. today i realized life is so precious .. and even if u die..people will mourn over ur demise for one day...two ? three?... then life goes on.. but u will never return.. nd you will miss everything that your bright future might have held for u... 

and not just the future...be grateful for ur life so far...... no matter how many hardships we have been through.. but there are equal memories to cherish and to be grateful for.

And the point is ,with  so many people around us..we are still lonely amidst the chaos .. and the worst part is we are still not taking mental health as the most important issue.. 

I remember few days ago i was telling my mom how important mental health is.. i have always tried my best to explain how i feel.. and how important it is... "MOM YOU SHOULD KNOW WHY I HAVE CERTAIN FEELINGS..HOW I FEEL.. AND YOU MUST UNDERSTAND MY MENTAL HEALTH...IT  IS NOT IN GOOD SHAPE AT TIMES"  ,to which she usually responds that i'm just nuts...that i was just going cuckoo for no reason and that i need not  seek any medical help for this..

Let me tell you guys , Mental Health is important and there should be no stigma to it.  Today more than anything else we need love , care and support.  Please listen when someone shares there issues..and rather than being judgmental please   please  please just be there for that person... A warm hug..a smile..a shoulder.... or if u r not close or near to that person , just listening to what one has to say would be of great help to that person.